Being pregnant is an incredible exciting time! A lot of decisions need to be made and a lot of money needs to be spent. Everything you will really need is to be found in our puristic basic equipment checklist. But maybe you are wondering about some products that aren’t on the list or you are not sure about a recommendation you got. Following you find typical bought baby products we think you shouldn’t buy or shouldn’t buy before your baby is born. Often the answer is not black and white but for sure much more products are available than useful (at least for you and your baby). So it saves you a lot of money if you wait until you need something. If your baby is born you can test things and just buy them if they work for you.
Nappy changing tables are might be used for a few weeks from first time parents until they feel more comfortable. Than they start to change nappies everywhere, the baby gets more active and it’s easier, faster and safer to change the nappy on the couch, bed or even on the floor.
Instead of a nappy change table you could go for a portable nappy change mat.
Especially at night it makes a huge difference if you have to get up, maybe even walk into another room, turn on the lights or simply unfold a little mat in from of you. If you are having a toddler already, they can help so much better if you change and dress your little one on a lower level where they can see and act easily.
NO Nappy Change Table needed!
To create a nursery or ‘children‘s room‘ may feels like a romantic project to you. Fine. If not, don’t do it! A baby need you, milk and a place to sleep close to you. After 6ish months they may sit and show interests in trying some of your food. They still want to be close to you. In the next six months they may start to crawl and show interests in ... everything around you! Then they start to walk, so they can reach a new higher lever to explore - still mostly in the same room as you are. They play where you are and they still wouldn’t need a single toy. They will found a whisk and explore it, oh and what happens if there is something inside it? It makes funny noises! Oh and a spoon.. it’s great to put it in the mouth or used as a mirror or to make music. It’s so much fun to put them out and in again. Later they can create a row out of them, or a circle and it becomes a sun! Maybe that sounds a bit too alternative for now? So may think about the following fact when deciding about ‘nursery or not’. If you have friends with small children, did you realized they have a play or toy area in their living area? A baby or a toddler doesn’t play in the own room, except they have to. And they don’t sleep in their own room for the first 3ish years, except they have to. Did you know in India it’s part of the culture that kids are sleeping in the parents room until they are five - even nowadays and even if space is available. And did you know India has one of the lowest SIDS rates?
NO Nursery needed!
Some babies love a sway hammock and some love it a bit too much. Then they ask you to be their sway as soon as they don’t fit in the hammock anymore. So a sway hammock may(!) brings you a few quite first weeks to months but you accept the risk that they get used to sleep in this swaying movement and want to keep it. If you are fine with that risk, than still wait until your baby is born to test it before you buy it. A hammock can be quite expensive (even more if it is a sway one) and not all babies like it.
WAIT and see if your baby likes it
A dummy is one of the most discussed topics! We know it can be a hard decision and it is important to know some information about the impact of a dummy before you decide. Again we would wait with buying dummies (and even more all the equipment you can get to sterilize, or keep it fixed on clothes and mouth) until you know your baby, your own needs and until breast feeding (in case you do so) works fine. Some babies simply don’t want a dummy! Some just don’t need it and some need more then suckling, they want to cuddle on a warm, soft and breathing body. So we think the dummy isn’t made for the baby, it’s made for the mother. If it’s getting too intense for you, may you haven’t introduce a baby wrap yet? Or may you would like to ask a good lactation counselor for support?
But more about the dummy. It can give you the possibility to keep the baby suckling when you aren’t able or willing to share your breast. While driving a car could be one of these moments and then it can help. But it’s hard to believe a toddler has the need to suckle while running through the garden or while playing with some toys. So maybe these aren’t the moments dummies are needed and made for.
Wait until you know your needs
Baby phones simply feel a bit updated and therefore a waist of money. Just instal an app on your devices and use your phone to check your baby.
Another chapter that can cluster parents in two groups are buggies or prams. For a baby, our experiences and believes vote for a baby wrap in the first six months and a good (!) carrier afterwards. If you need to decide differently, psychologically it is very important to make sure the buggy seat can be used so the toddler faces to you. Babies and toddlers faced to the front (away from you) were much more stressed. The reasons are the missing non verbal communication and the intensity of heavy stimuli. The same applies when caring a baby faced to the front or carried on the back.
Go for a baby wrap or good carrier
Nappy bags are getting very popular, maybe because most women like to buy a new hand bag :) But honestly we preferred to buy a bigger awesome hand bag we really love and use for a long time. If you are using the portable nappy change mat you already have the must have with you. Add a little bottle of water and you are ready to go!
A breathing sensor or mat try to let us feel more safe and confident and we totally understand that wish. Already the idea of loosing this special gift we just had born is horrible. But the experiences of midwifes seems to be that these mates and sensors are reacting to often to fast and waken up babies and families regularly. Sleep is so important for a newborn and his family. To use it also means the baby is sleeping on plastic which can’t breath. We decided for co-sleeping but for legal reasons we don’t want to give a recommendation about it. You needed to decide what’s important to you and how do feel about a possible risk. If you want to know more, we collected about some information about SIDS.
too individual to give an advice
A mobile is kind of a toy, it’s an activity. It’s often used above the nappy change table which (if existing) should be a place of communication. Another popular space for a mobile seems to be the bassinet or cot, which intentionally is made to rest and sleep instead of activity and therefore inappropriate too. A newborn doesn’t need this stimuli but it is one possible toy you can offer to your baby.
a toy which should be used as toy
What’s wrong with toys? For our babies and toddlers to play means to learn and they enjoy to learn from us. Therefore they don’t need any toys at all. But somebody could respond that a baby or child mostly prefer a toys and the answer would be yes and no. Of course if they are used to it they will and there is a reason why. Everybody is willing to learn, that’s why we survive. Learn and success feels good, it means the hormone serotonin is built. Now the natural path is more like this. A baby want to walk like mum and dad, it takes weeks and month to do the first step. Before it is successful, it needs a lot of training, try and error, falling down, frustration, getting up again and finally it does the first step! It’s done and it feels great, the baby is proud, mummy and daddy are smiling and it’s emotional. It’s huge. The babies body is full of serotonin. That’s what most toys are working with. In the worst case, your baby presses a button and the whole world changes, music and lights are coming up, maybe a little puppy is moving too. An equal amount of serotonin is in baby’s body but the effort was so much less. Do you get the point? And it can be reduce the motivation and tolerance of frustration because the amount of afford and result are in an incredibly unbalanced. You are now wondering if there is something in between? Toys that encourage babies interests and learning. They are!
be mindful with toys, less is more
A baby bath tub is another product which is mostly used a handful of times before sold or thrown away. Why not bathing in the sink or together with mum or dad in the tub? Keep the water level low and enjoy some skin on skin time with the baby on your tummy. Have another person around to get the baby in and out or to wash it. It’s also a nice chance for you to stay a little longer as your baby and get some minutes to relax.
Enjoy your journey of becoming parents!